Poor feedback from readers

I’ve run this web site for a number of years now, and I get email feedback from readers every now and then. While some of it is average and a little bit is interesting, it’s roughly the other half of the feedback that shocks me: They are absolutely horrible in writing and idea quality, and they sometimes demand an unnecessary favor from me.

Please don’t send me feedback that looks like the following examples! Read these messages and judge for yourself:

Examples

2011-11-08, from AF

Subject line: Fwd: CONV KEY

THE USE OF CONV KEY ON CASIO 991

Hello,pls how i'm going to use the CONVERSION KEY on my casio scientific calculator model fx991MS.thanks

My response: RTFM. Seriously. User’s Guide 2, pages E-22 and E-23.

2011-10-14, from RD

Subject line: (blank)

Hello,

I have recently visited your site to view how others had solved the "Dwite Computing Competition" problems. As i am a beginner at Java, i was unable to understand how you had solved the problems, although, i am very much interested in finding out. If it is not too much of a bother, i would greatly appreciate if you could send me things such as tutorials which you find would help me to learn Java. I am not completely new at coding, and i know the basics but i haven't gotten the logic and many of the functions of Java yet.

Thank you,
RD

My response: Have you first searched on Google and searched in bookstores? Or are asking me to be your personal tutor?

2011-08-17, from VS

Subject line: about fx-991MS calculator

Respected sir,
myself V. sir today i purchase  a new scientific calculator-  : fx-991MS.
sir, in this calculator i am not able to solve combination & permutation.
eg. 6C3,  or 4P2 like that.
that means in calcy i am not getting how to solve.
Before this calcy i have CASIO fx-100W calcy.
In this calcy there was a seperate button for this .I mean i can easily find the answer.
But in new calcy i have problem.
Sir can you help me?
Please reply me what step i follow for this. and also guide what another setting i have to do i calcy (for decimal point adjusment etc.)
I'm Waiting for  your reply.

THANX & REGARDS
V

My response: Respected sir, I’m sick and tired of listening to telemarketers from India.

2010-06-25, from JP

Subject line: (blank)

hello from greece... im student at a greek university... Could you please send me a txt file with the code of brute force on caesar's cipher??? i would be very usefull for me....

thank you in advance , JP

My response: Could you send me an envelope with the money, minimum 20 USD? It would be very useful for me. After that, we’ll talk.

2010-06-11, from AP

Subject line: commenting my program

hi, can you try my cryptographic program at http://t-ut.com

ok, thanks, please report what the negative and the positive. sorry for my bad english but i am sure you understand it

My response: You’re asking for my advice on your problems. I need upfront payment for that, thank you.

2010-05-23, from EON

Subject line: fx 991ms caculators

i need about 4000 pieces of fx 991 casio caculators and want to place an order as early as possible so i want to know the price  and the details of the process involve and i will like to know if you have a company at china.

My response: Do I look even remotely like a merchant to you?

2008-07-05, from CR

Subject line: expain about operation 5%2=1

hello sir

can u please explain about this how to get this modulus function in 991 MS please it will so greateful to u .

waiting for ur answer

My response: Your poor spelling shows a lack of respect for my time. I must conclude that you don’t deserve any attention from me.

Notes

The quoted messages are largely unmodified. Only these modifications were made:

Other than that, nothing else was changed. In particular, the spelling, grammar, punctuation, and spacing are exactly the way the person wrote them.

I noticed that being addressed as “sir” is strongly correlated with the sender being from India. I conjecture that it might be taught as a respectful form of addressing someone, but I personally find it to be very cold and distancing. That being said, I am not inviting you to feign familiarity with me either.